I have put off writing this review for so long. =(
Because I don’t like the book?
Nope.
It’s an amazing book, but I’ve been through a rough period the last couple of months, compounded by the stress of the holidays and an attempt at what seems like it will be an impossible move across the country. And this book brings up gobs of emotions! In a great way, but also, it is a bit emotionally exhausting.
So I decided that instead of trying to throw out a half-hearted quick overall review before I’ve even made it through the whole book, I would take it in small pieces! So be watching for a few more posts in this mini-series review, as I make my way through the book.
The first thing, though seemingly small, that I love about the book, is the little heart on the inside cover with a place to put “to” and “from.” This is a small touch, but very important, as I believe this is one of the best books you can gift to a grieving mama. And I’ve read a LOT of books for grieving mamas in the last 4 years since my first loss.
In the beginning is a short introduction from the author, Sarah, where she shares a bit of her heart and story, and it immediately feels as though she has invited you for coffee in a quiet and calm place, free from the judgment and advice-filled comments that so commonly surround loss. I felt my guard immediately begin to drop, as her compassion and care are so evident that it’s impossible to feel anything but loved.
The book is conveniently divided into 31 sections, short enough to read even when you don’t feel like investing the emotional energy or time for a long chapter. There is a short snippet in the “meat” of each section, sharing a personal story or experience from either the author or a loss mama, along with some important truths that every loss mother needs to hear, but few or none will speak to her. Things like “Even though we find comfort in the fact that our babies are in heaven with God, it still hurts.”
At the end of each section, there is a part labeled “soul work” with some very healing truths and things we can do to help our hearts begin to rebuild. It’s the real-life, nitty-gritty, practical advice part of the healing process, and helpful advice that most loss mothers will not receive elsewhere. There is also a short prayer, which I found to be comforting, and especially when I first began to experience losses, would’ve been helpful when there were so many times I simply didn’t have any words to pray.
This week, one of my favorite parts was this:
“Your loved ones-especially the father of your baby-might want to know how they can help ease you. How they can be a friend. Give them permission to sit quietly beside you in your grief. Ask them to hug you and hold you. Please know you might have to ask for this. Don’t be ashamed to speak what you need. It’s okay to set boundaries, and it’s ok to be specific with your requests.”
Oh how I wish I knew that with my first loss. I didn’t know how to tell my husband what I needed, and he didn’t know how to help/comfort me. Many friends and family weren’t quite sure what to say or do, either, and it led to me feeling alone, hurt, and unloved. Sarah knows exactly what it’s like to lose babies, and she nailed this point…ASK. It’s ok. It’s ok to guide people as they help you and support you.
Anyway, this is just part 1! Stay tuned, as I update y’all on my way through the book. I am enjoying going through it without rushing, and savoring every word. It’s like a balm, and although a lot of people think that after 12 babies lost, I should be “used to it” by now, some days it really feels like it gets worse with every loss. So although I wish I had this book in the beginning, I’m still incredibly grateful for it now! <3
If you’re looking to purchase this book, you can find it on Amazon right here:
*I received this book for free in exchange for a review, but y’all should know by now that I never recommend things based off of anything but my personal opinion, and I’m quite opinionated. 😉
**This post contains affiliate links, and if a purchase is made through that link, I may receive a small percentage of the sale at no additional cost to you. This is simply a small way I can bring in a little extra for my family for things that I already love and recommend anyway. =)
