Yesterday, I was cleaning off my dresser, and I almost threw away a piece of newspaper… I thought it was so weird that I had newspaper on my dresser, since I never, ever read the paper (it’s for food sales lol!). I glanced at the article it was folded open to, and my heart jumped in my throat. It was the article about the foster parent shortage in Idaho.
See… I’ve been trying to get back home to Arizona. I haven’t been happy here in Idaho, and I miss my family more than most people can understand (my mom was abusive, then left when I was 17, and my youngest sibling of the 5 of us was only 3 years old. We are closer than pretty much any family I’ve ever known). But the problem with my unhappiness wasn’t because I was in the wrong place. It wasn’t my husband, or my surroundings, or the lack of my family. It was because I was no longer seeking God’s will…I just wanted what I wanted.
So, a couple months ago, God told me we were supposed to stay here in Idaho, at least for a few years. I wasn’t excited about it, but at the same time, there was a peace, because I knew I was now following God’s plan, and there is so much safety in that! It doesn’t mean it will be peachy, but it is the safest place to be.
Shortly after that, a coworker who knows I have a heart for fostering and adoption asked if I’d seen the article in the paper… remember how I don’t read the paper? ?
So I went home and read it… and God deepened the desire in my heart to be a foster parent. Keep in mind, although I wanted to adopt, I used to swear I would never foster. Adoption would be heartbreak enough, I knew…the process could end up destroying me. I get way too attached, but I knew I wanted to adopt. But fostering? There’s no way I could do that. That’s WAY too much heartbreak.
Yet…God began working on my heart, and somewhere along the line, I began to have the desire to foster. Not just to adopt, but to also be a regular foster home. And God laid that desire on my husband’s heart as well.
Recently, God told me we would also have a foster ministry, helping other foster families. I have no idea of the specifics yet, but I know he will reveal them in the right time. This is both exciting and scary.? I mean, I’m not even equipped to foster kids myself, how can I minister to other families??
Well, I had been feeling discouraged, because at every turn, it seems like fostering is more distant. Everything is against us…time, finances, a house that desperately needs repairs before kids can be in it, and the list goes on… ?
But when I read that article, I knew God was reminding me of the dream he planted in my heart. His timing is perfect, I just need to trust.
So I went and laminated the article and put it on our hearts’ desires board to pray over, and stuck a copy in my planner to remind me that God is faithful.
And now I know why God had me get sidetracked with cleaning off my dresser, when my plan had been to finish cleaning the bathroom. 😉